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I am focusing on the loss of a deep bond and recognizing that this deep bond is the loss of that child-like awe and wonder, the excitement over life. The image of myself as a toddler came up and I was outside on a beautiful day watching with awe and wonder as a butterfly floated around the flowers. I was invited to write a story of myself as a butterfly.

I am a butterfly and I have beautiful, wide wings with speckles and patterns. I am free from the cocoon of darkness and I am capable of new movements now. I can fly! I am able to fly and float, fluttering along from flower to flower. I can spend my days fluttering from one flower to the next and then coast over the grasses. I have everything I need. I am able to explore the vast world uninhibited by anything. The cocoon is gone. I am free. The sunshine lights my way and the blue skies above help me distinguish from sky and Earth. I am connected to the Earth and to all things. I am part of nature. I have no fears, but I still move cautiously so that I can enjoy life without unnecessary risks.

I am flying now towards lilac bushes as they are my favorite. I am gentle and humble, a light and bright spirit of divinity. I know I bring delight and joy to the humans on this planet. I am part of a species of insect with a vast array of colours and we are all beautiful.

Why wasn’t I liked before the cocoon though? I was kind of ugly and crawling on the ground. That sucked! My transformed self is much more light and free.

I appreciate my beauty.

I appreciate myself.

I appreciate life.

I am life.

I am pure joy. Nothing can take my joy away. Nor my beauty.

I am a symbol of rebirth and regeneration. I am a symbol of “do overs” and of inner transformation.

Triumph over the darkness.

Entering the cave of death to be reborn to life/light.

I am eternal, no end and no beginning. A circle of life.

I need to keep my “feet” on the ground as I fly and flutter along. To remind me of my deep connection with nature, with all that is.

Connections made from this story:

Inner voice “Breathe and be free”.  “Take time for self”.  “Be ok with the messy writing”.  “Be my own butterfly”.

I want to transform and free myself, but this needs to come from within.

I am responsible for my own transformation and that is scary.

Action Plan: I want to make time to work on my action plan items, even if that means taking one at a time. I want to make time to focus on the beauty that surrounds me and spend time in meditation where I feel connected to nature. I want to continue allowing myself to go deep in a gentle way.

Kelly Gass, July 23rd 2020

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